Is My Heart Burning?

This morning I began re-reading a book Kelly gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago. The book is entitled "Great Days with the Great Lives" and provides daily readings along with Scriptures that chronicles 10 great lives found in the Bible. In the introduction, the Russian Poet Boris Pasternak is quoted

"It is not revolutions and upheavals that clear the road

to new and better days, but someone's soul inspired and ablaze."

That caught my attention immediately. I'm ready for a clear road to new and better days. The past months have been frustrating as the ministry plans Sally and I had seem to have all fallen apart. We've been praying for direction, for inspiration, for 'revolutions' of ideas if I may use that term. So I could relate to the poets quote. But then I read it again and realized that what was lacking was the latter part.

To be very honest, I have been spending too much time contemplating the unaccomplished things, and the challenges at LFDS, and the difficulties with the government, etc. Considering the poets thesis, I would classify myself as having a soul that is uninspired and certainly not ablaze. That may sound harsh, but it is true. The past 12 days of not flying again has afforded me the time to do some self evaluation and soul searching. It has been a process of asking hard questions, talking to God, and waiting for answers. Which is the really hard part because I am of the personality type that likes to make things happen. But not this time, I've purposed to go slow and learn.

So what am I doing? I've realized that this is time to immerse myself in the Scriptures. In addition to reading the gospels, I enjoy listening to podcasts of great preachers. I was doing just that last evening as I was on the eliptical. The sermon was based on Jesus' words in John 15 "if my words abide in you..." As I came to the end I was evaluating the message and was about to say 'this wasn't that great' when the preacher said something that hit hard. He shared how he and his wife have a weekly lunch 'date' and that for the past 6 months that date took the form of the first 20 minutes lamenting all the challenges and problems they were facing in the church family. He shared that in the midst of that date he suddenly realized that they had not once shared scripture, but only complaints. They purposed at that moment to change. He shared a verse that really hit me. The psalmist David is in the midst of trouble but is writing about the past mercies of God. He says,

I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;

I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;

I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness

from the great congregation.

As for you, O LORD, you will not restrain your mercy from me;

your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me! (Psalm 40:10-11 ESV)

What struck me was that I had been focusing on all the 'troubles' Sally and I are having and haven't recalled the great mercies and the faithfulness and the salvation God has shown toward us. Not only that, but I haven't been speaking of that faithfulness and salvation, instead just complaining. No wonder I don't have a inspired and burning soul. I know I'm not the only one that is struggling with this. I do recall those in the Scriptures who call out to God to give them a heart that burns for him, that longs for God and his word, that is ablaze with the joy that comes from being totally satisfied with and in Jesus Christ. What I've realized is that I need what only God can do through the power of the Holy Spirit through Scriptures - to transform me more towards the image of Christ. Jesus said, "It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life." (John 6:63 ESV)

So, as we wait to hear the news of when we can get back to flying to serve the Basotho in the mountains, I'll be trying to do better at recalling the great mercies of God and saturating my mind with the life changing, soul igniting words of Jesus Christ.

Daily by His Grace,

Larry

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